So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
