This is not my ceiling
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
