But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Randomize
