i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
