When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
