Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
