can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
