I must be too annoying 4 u.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
