Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
