Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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