Who did Billy Mays play for?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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