So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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