yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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