I'm lost and stupid without you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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