At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just found puke in my bra..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
