I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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