Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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