so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
