I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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