adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize