as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
