I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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