The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Success! We fucked roommates!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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