Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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