wat bout pragnant strippers??
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
