so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
