my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
