it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
