It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
