I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
