If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
