We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
