discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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