...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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