Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
