There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
