What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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