I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
