Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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