He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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