ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We are all done wearing pants today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
