Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
