It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
