I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
