Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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