Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
