the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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