shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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