with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
