i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
