The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
