Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh god the rape fog is back!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize