Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
