Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
