I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
