Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
