The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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