Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
